


The Cupcake Man

by Twisted_Magic



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: 2013 ficlets, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Crack, F/M, Humor, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-01-21
Packaged: 2019-10-13 21:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,292
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17496149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Magic/pseuds/Twisted_Magic
Summary: Leo has the great idea to have a pranking contest with Piper and Jason. The pranks have varying degrees of humourous success.





	The Cupcake Man

**Author's Note:**

> This is a ficlet from 2013 I had forgotten about which I unearthed last night from my old files. I'm planning on posting a few others of my old ficlets in the Batman and Harry Potter fandoms, so keep an eye out for those if you like absurdist style humour. I hope you enjoy this and have a laugh!

Leo Valdez sits with his two friends, Jason Grace and Piper McLean, in the commons by the cabins. They are discussing the pranks that have been pulled during the past few days. It is the second week before Halloween, Camp Half-Blood’s traditional time to trick and scare the other campers. The Hermes cabin has done most of the pranks.

“Come on, guys. You know how boring it is to have the Hermes kids being the only ones pranking!” Leo is saying. Jason snorts.

“Boring? There is nothing boring about finding a zombie in my bed!” he complains. Piper narrows her eyes at Leo.

“What are you getting at?” she asks.

Leo shrugs and leans back on the armrest of a bench, fiddling with bits of wire. “All I’m saying is that I think there should be some other people getting pranks in. It’ll be fresh to have some other styles. New ingredients to tosh into the salad, if you will,” he says with a grin.

Jason leans forward. “So what you mean is," Jason stresses, "you’re going to double the amounts of pranks you do? I think the firecracker in the Ares cabin was enough. Clarisse was yelling at everyone within five miles!”

Leo shakes his head, wincing. “Yeeeaah, that wasn’t one of my best. But no, I have a different idea,” he says, a grin spreading across his face. Piper leans back.

“Oh no. Not that face.”

Leo spreads his hands. “What face?”

Jason opens his mouth like he is going to go on a rant about all the times Leo’s "idea-grin" lead to them getting into trouble, but decides that would take too long and just closes his mouth.

“Guys,” Leo starts, “what do you two say to a pranking contest? Whoever pulls off the best prank gets something extra added to the comfort of their cabins aboard the Argo II. I have enough room to add anything else you’d want to make our long quest more comfortable. Like a pool table,” he says while he wriggles excitedly on the bench.

Piper lights up. “Really?” she asks. Leo nods. Piper looks up at the sky, thinking. Jason shrugs.

“I guess I’m in,” he says. Leo grins at Piper, raising his eyebrows. Piper sighs.

“Fine, I’m in too,” she says reluctantly. Leo laughs, clapping them both on the shoulder.

“This’ll be great, guys. You can bring out your creative streak! Now, you can do the prank on anyone and you have one week to prepare. Good luck!”

***

Leo spends the whole week thinking and scheming. He prepares his plan on the final day.

Leo, Jason, and Piper all walk to the amphitheater for the campfire. Before they go off to sit with their own cabins, they gather at the edge of the firelight. Leo grins at his friends and rubs his hands together, which are sending up sparks of fire from his excitement.

“You ready?” Jason asks. Piper nods confidently.

“So when are we pranking?” Piper asks. Leo shrugs, tapping his fingers, trying to contain his ADHD.

“Whenever, I suppose.”

Jason nods, looking off into the distance.

“See you then. Good luck,” he smiles and walks off with Piper. Leo suppresses a laugh, and jogs off to his seat.

***

Piper’s prank happens during one of the sing-alongs.

The song they're all singing is a version of the Hokey-Pokey. It involves a lot of imitating monster calls and sword fighting moves. Leo is singing along, when they all sing the move ‘kill your enemies’. Piper sneaks up behind Leo and whispers the line in charm speak. Leo instantly feels the urge to kill his enemies. He lets out a battle cry and runs into the woods, drags a monster out of its nest, and kills it. Once the charm speak wears off, Leo walks back to the campfire, confused. The camp laughs at him while Piper grins smugly. She bows mockingly and the singing continues.

***

Jason’s prank is next; everyone is gathered around the fire, roasting marshmallows, when all the marshmallows lift off everyone’s roasting sticks and fly up into the clouds. A few people scream, then they all turn to Jason, who is laughing. He had controlled the winds to lift away the marshmallows. Several food-loving kids don’t like the joke too much, but Chiron brings out a Mega Mount Olympus bag of marshmallows and everyone settles down and laughs too.

***

Leo’s prank is last. After the sing along, it’s ghost story time. Conner Stoll tells a story about a man-eating toothbrush, then Leo clears his throat in a high pitched manner to indicate that he's going to tell a story.

Leo tries not to laugh. All of today, Leo has been messing with Phobos, the god of fear. He had finally pushed Phobos to his breaking point during lunchtime, who then vowed to make every little thing Leo said at the campfire tonight terrifying. And that was just what Leo wanted.

Leo leans forward on his bench, and starts his story.

“Once upon a time,” he says in a creepy voice, and instantly everyone hugs each other in fear. Leo grins and continues: “there was once a man who lived all by himself in a butterfly meadow.” Leo sets his hands on fire, giving his face a menacing glow. A group of younger campers, maybe eight or ten years old, are shaking, their eyes wide with terror.

“One day, very long ago, in a place very unlike this, he was baking…CUPCAKES!” Leo waves his hands around, making funny faces. Piper is hugging Jason, who is whimpering. Leo grins at them and keeps his gaze fixed on them as he continues.

“This man made pink and purple cupcakes, with little hearts on them. He was planning to give these to his mother. He pulled them out of the oven and…” he paused, enjoying how everyone held their breath, “THEY SMELLED LIKE HEAVEN!” The group of little kids scream. Jason pulls out his sword to comfort himself. Chiron is stuffing marshmallows into his mouth like popcorn.

Leo takes a deep breath before continuing, putting on his creepiest horror-story-telling voice.

“This man danced around his kitchen, singing OPERA!” The camp gasps in horror. “The man packs up the cupcakes and takes them to his mother’s house. His mother is…THE MOST ALIVE AND HEALTHY PERSON HE HAS EVER SEEN!” Leo shakes his head in mock sadness. “Poor woman,” he says.

“The man and his mother eat the cupcakes. They are the most delicious things they’ve ever eaten. Then, all the sudden, a wonderful thing happens: A UNICORN JUMPS THROUGH THE WINDOW AND CARRIES THEM OFF TO A CASTLE AND THEY LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH PINK AND PURPLE CUPCAKES FOR EVERY MEAL!!” Leo finishes in one breath and ends it with throwing his hands up dramatically and letting out a maniacal laugh. The whole camp screams and hugs their friends like there’s no tomorrow. Leo doubles over laughing, slapping his knee.

After a few moments the camp settles down and looks around in a daze, like a spell has been lifted. Jason stares at Leo with an open mouth, then stands up and claps. Chiron is the next person to applaud.

“Its okay, everyone! It was just a spell!” Chiron announces with shaky relief with nervous sweat clear on his face. The campers laugh at themselves and applaud. People come up and clap Leo on the shoulder, telling him good job. Piper shakes her head, smiling, as she reaches Leo’s side.

“Well done, Valdez.”

Leo bows. “Thank you. You guys weren’t bad yourselves!” he says before he can stop himself. Jason shrieks and hides in a bush at the sound of Leo’s enchanted voice. Leo laughs.

“This is going to be fun.”


End file.
